BRENDON’S BIRTH: October 12, 2010
I loved being pregnant. I loved feeling my baby move and being connected to him. I loved it when he got the hiccups after I ate, that he was tasting what I had eaten. I loved thinking about meeting him and what he’d be like. But I had a hard pregnancy. As much as I didn’t want to believe I was as sick as I was in the end, I was not tolerating pregnancy too well.
Right at the start when I thought I was 8 weeks along I had terrible cramps and went in for an early ultrasound. I was told then that based on the size of the embryo, either I was not as far along as I’d thought, or the pregnancy didn’t work out and my body was miscarrying. My husband James and I were devastated. We’d just gotten used to the idea of having a baby, and it was possible it wasn’t going to happen. But blood test showed my HCG levels rising and then at another ultrasound the next week we saw a little worm moving – our baby’s heartbeat!! My due date was put back two weeks, to October 28.
I thought that would be the last of it. My first trimester was easy – no morning sickness, just incredible tiredness. But with plenty of time to sleep (this was my first baby), that was no problem at all!
Then I had my genetic screening tests and I was found to have elevated anolytes (proteins put out by the placenta) and a velamentous cord insertion (the umbilical cord doesn’t go straight into the placenta, but goes into the uterus wall beside it) which the doctors told me meant my baby was at risk for intrauterine growth restriction and I was at risk for developing pre-eclampsia. I had second stage ultrasounds at 25 and 30 weeks where they checked the baby’s growth and blood flow through the umbilical cord, and the risk of growth restriction was blown out of the water when my baby was estimated to be a whopping 6 pounds at 30 weeks! A huge weight was lifted off my shoulders. Now I could finally enjoy the pregnancy!
However, as time went on, my blood pressure kept on rising. I thought it was white coat syndrome and wasn’t too worried. I was having non-stress tests twice a week (from 34 weeks), and I thought perhaps all this attention was making my blood pressure go up. My midwife Beth (at UCSD), ordered blood tests at 35 weeks to see if I was developing pre-eclampsia. Nothing. No protein in my urine either, which is the first sign of pre-eclampsia. However, based on the elevated anolytes and high blood pressure, I was now no longer eligible to give birth at the Birth Center at UCSD Medical Center. That was a real bummer to hear, but I was confident that with the midwives, even at the regular Labor and Delivery ward, I could still have a natural non-interventionist birth that I wanted.
Shelley’s prenatal yoga was a saving grace. Each week I could almost feel my blood pressure rising, and my hormones making me into a crazy person, but after Shelley’s Saturday class I would always walk out balanced and at peace and more and more in touch with my baby.
By 37 weeks, every time I went in for my non-stress test, my blood pressure was higher so that on the Friday before Brendon was born, I had to go into Labor and Delivery for monitoring. They diagnosed me with gestational hypertension and the midwife on call checked me, saying that if I was at all dialated, they’d induce me. I freaked out. I wasn’t ready. That day was meant to be my last day of work before maternity leave and I had a huge list of things to do before the baby came. However, I was 50% effaced and not at all dialated. We left the hospital and went home to pack my hospital bag!
They had me come back on the Sunday for more monitoring since pre-eclampsia can develop quickly and get serious very quickly. The baby and I checked out ok on the Sunday and they sent me home to do a 24 hour urine test where I peed into a jar for 24 hours so they could really determine if any protein was being put out by my kidneys.
On Monday October 11, I was sick of being in the house and thinking about pre-eclampsia so I rode along while my husband played golf. It was great to get out and about, even with my pee jar! But I had a midwife appointment that afternoon, and this time my blood pressure was so high she said I should be in the hospital and was surprised I was allowed to go home the day before. I negotiated my way into going back home first, to collect my bag and have James drive me to the hospital. Once we got there, I was put back on the monitors. At this stage I was having Braxon-Hicks contractions every 2-5 minutes and was in a very nice labor pattern, but it was all painless. The baby was moving around nicely and not under any stress either, as he’d been through all my non-stress tests. Sure enough, my 24 hour urine test came back with enough protein to diagnose me with pre-eclampsia. Rita, the midwife on that night, came by to tell us we were having a baby in the next 24 hours! I had a bit of a cry, worrying that I wasn’t ready and I wouldn’t be a good mother, but James put those thoughts at rest saying I would be the best mum ever.
At 7pm Rita checked me and I was 1-1.5cm dialated and 70% effaced. She stripped my membranes to move things along. I was given cervadil about 10pm, which is a suppository drug to ripen and soften the cervix. We turned out the lights and tried to get some sleep – as much sleep as possible with fetal monitors and an IV! I started feeling my contractions at about 10.30pm, coming every 5 minutes or so. They weren’t too bad, but they were strong enough to stop me from sleeping. At 12.30pm my water broke. I got myself to the bathroom and sat on the toilet as it all gushed out. We called the nurse and she helped clean everything up, and called Rita. When Rita came, she asked if the cervadil was still in. I had no idea; Rita checked and it was gone. We even looked around for it. I was thinking, no worries, we’ll just get another one. But Rita almost started swearing – apparently cervadil is very, very expensive and she couldn’t justify ordering another one as I was already having regular contractions. Then she dropped the bomb – my labor had to progress; I’d have to go on pitocin.
I was dreading this. I’d already had much more of an interventionist pregnancy and labor than I’d wanted. Plus I’d read up on all the bad things about pitocin. I was more of an Ina May gal (anyone wanting a natural, unmedicated childbirth HAS to read Ina May Gaskin’s Guide to Childbirth – it is an absolute MUST to read at least twice). But I was at the hospital and knew that it would be hard to go against their protocols. So I was hooked up to pitocin at 1am and called my doula Dawnell Jensen, knowing I’d need her shortly once the pitocin kicked in. Dawnell arrived at 1.30am, when the contractions were starting to get more painful. By this time James and I were moving around together, doing some slow dancing and a few of the things we’d learnt at Shelley’s couples class, and joking around a bit to keep things light. The jokes stopped pretty quickly as the contractions started coming in every 2-5 minutes and I started needing my full concentration to get through them. Dawnell suggested a few different positions for James and I to try, which helped a lot. I was having back labor, so James spent a lot of time putting counter-pressure on my lower back through each contraction. I sucked on some lollipops and sat on the toilet for a while. I was hooked up to the IV so had to cart that around with me everywhere. The IV line often got pinched as I moved my arm and set off all kinds of alarms, and the stupid fetal monitors (I was lucky enough to know that L&D had one set of cordless ones so I requested those which made it a bit easier) kept on popping off my belly which set off more alarms. But the nurses were great; they came in and put them right back on and didn’t freak out at the alarms. I was also on magnesium to prevent seizures (for pre-eclampsia) and was on strict liquid intake restrictions since it causes fluid retention. I could only have 150ml (a mouthful!!) every hour or equivalent in ice chips, and I longed for a good, long, drink.
I ended up finding a position that I liked where I was laying with my lower back on a birthing ball with my top half on James’ lap holding onto his forearms as he sat on a chair behind me and my legs up against the bed so I could rock back and forth and massage my lower back on the ball. I spent a few hours like that - not very conventional or safe. Later James told me he and Dawnell were worried I was going to fall off the whole time. The contractions were painful, but manageable if I really concentrated. In fact, some of them were not at all bad if I really, really concentrated. I kept ‘ahhh-ing’ and ‘mmmmm-ing’ and keeping my voice nice and low. Every time I started letting my voice rise up into a more tense ‘agggghhh’, James and Dawnell would tell me to keep it low and deep and relaxed. James did a lot of ‘horselips’ with me (blowing raspberries), which Ina May says relaxes your lady parts. I also kept visualizing opening up with each contraction. James told me many times that I was a birth warrior and while I had giggled at that in class, I really took it seriously in labor!
By 5am or so I started getting really, really tired. I was handling the pain, but it was the relentlessness of it that was getting to me. I just wanted a break. I started saying I thought I might need something. James kept telling me to just get through the next one then we’d talk about my options, then encouraged me to try to make it to 6am when the sun came up, knowing that everything gets better in the light of day. It definitely helped to see each individual contraction as something to get through rather than as a long, relentless line of pain for who knows how much longer. The sight of the sun coming up worked wonders for me as well.
Once I’d made it to 6am, I had Rita come and check my progress, which she hadn’t done since before I was induced. I was really ready for a break from the crazy pitocin contractions and knew I’d ask for an epidural if I was only 2 or 3cm along. At 6.30am she was surprised to find I was 5-6cm already! That didn’t sound like a lot to me, but Dawnell told me the second half goes by a lot more quickly. I decided against the epidural – I could do this! The other heartening thing was that the nurses brought in the warming bassinet for when Brendon was born. Things were happening! The other thing that crossed my mind was that I knew Rita’s shift would end at 7am. I really liked her and her style, and in the back of my mind I think there was the thought that I wanted her to deliver my baby. I had to speed things up!
After about 45 minutes I started to feel some pressure. I told the nurse I felt the need to push. No one really believed I could have dialated that quickly (although they didn’t tell me that) and Dawnell told me to cough when I felt the urge to push to alleviate the feeling so as not to wear myself out by pushing before I was ready. I did a bit of that, but after a few contractions I told them no, I really did feel the need to push. Rita came right back and checked me. I was fully dialated and she could see the baby’s head!
Pushing was a great relief – to be actually doing something rather than concentrating on staying relaxed and opening up was fantastic. I tried a few positions and ended up pushing while squatting with a birthing bar across the bed in front of me while I held onto a sheet wrapped around the bar. Brendon was born at 8:13am after an hour or so of pushing. He had a big head, so he was born all at once in a big gush! He came onto my chest and started yelling straight away. It was so amazing to have him in my arms and to meet him! He settled down and started saying ‘a-huh’. He also lifted his head and squinted around every time James spoke. He was trying to put a face to that voice he’d heard all pregnancy! Brendon weighed 7lbs 15 oz (he was 2.5 weeks early, but was definitely ‘done’!) and scored 9 and 9 on his APGAR score – what a little champ!
My placenta wasn’t born until an hour later. Rita waited as long as she could and massaged my tummy to help it detach, but then finally had to intervene. It was meant to be the easy part! It was painful, but I wasn’t paying much attention as I had my baby Bren in my arms. When the placenta finally did come out, we had a good look at it. Rita said it was a sick placenta – all calcified and not red and healthy-looking. It was very cathartic for me to see the source of all my pregnancy problems. While the placenta hadn’t done me any favors, it had done it’s job and had grown a healthy baby boy.
Shelley’s prenatal yoga class was one of the best things about my pregnancy. I really miss it now! It kept me balanced and helped me connect with my baby. But most of all it helped me believe in the strength in myself, that I could give birth naturally and unmedicated. With all the drugs I was hooked up to for the induction and pre-eclampsia, this strength was so important and I was able to keep my baby from one less drug in his life. Thank you Shelley!
