Naveen - 7 months:
Many of you have probably heard the quote that a woman will spend more time researching what car to buy than how she will give birth. I think the reason for that is partly because in most instances, women have been taught to fear labor and why spend an extraordinary amount of time confronting your fears when it might make you uncomfortable or require extra work? I know I at one time feared labor and birth. I did not have positive stories or experiences to draw from. My mother had difficult labors and all around me, people seemed to think that because of my very petite frame, I would have a difficult labor or one that ended in a c-section. But I knew I wanted to try for a natural birth. After a few close friends of mine (including Mylinh) pursued natural, drug free births and succeeded, I thought, why shouldn't I afford myself and my baby the opportunity to empower ourselves and to birth with awareness?I started practicing yoga more than a year before becoming pregnant and loved it. Deciding to practice prenatal yoga was, therefore, the next logical step. I first learned about Shelley's prenatal yoga class from my friend Mylinh and decided to give it a try. I was not disappointed. During class, I felt that I was not only keeping my body strong and in shape, I was making time for me and my baby to bond. And from Shelley, I learned that if I worked hard toward preparing for a natural birth, my mind and body would be ready. The rest I would leave up to fate because of course, in any birth, you cannot completely control the outcome.
My husband and I decided to enroll in a specialized childbirth class and had heard many good things about the Birthing From Within (BFW) program from Shelley. But because my husband and I had decided to birth our baby in a hospital, I knew childbirth classes alone wouldn't be enough for me to prepare for natural birth. Until my 20 week ultrasound, I was a patient in a very large medical group that I just didn't feel right about. I knew I was receiving excellent medical care and I knew my baby was healthy. But the doctors never really talked to me; or asked me how I was doing; how was I eating; how I was feeling about labor and birth…It seemed so detached and empty. After speaking with several doulas, friends, and midwives in the community, they encouraged me to consider a home or midwife birth. When I indicated I still planned to birth at a hospital, they referred me to an obstetrician that birthed babies at Scripps Memorial in Encinitas, a "baby friendly" hospital as designated by the WHO. At 22 weeks, I decided to meet with this doctor. After that appointment, I knew he would look after me and my baby. I decided to transfer my medical files to his practice. My doctor was not only completely supportive of natural birthing, he was very knowledgeable and very experienced. Sure, I was a little uneasy to switch doctors half way through my pregnancy. But my doctor reassured me, encouraged me, and supported the decision my husband and I had made about natural birth. And I knew I had done the right thing by refusing to birth with doctors that up until that point did not spend very much time with me at any given appointment or support natural birthing.
During my last trimester, my BFW course began and my husband and I started to meet with my mentor once a week for the next month. During BFW, I dug down deep into my heart and mind and learned to let go the fears I associated with labor. We also practiced labor coping techniques and educated ourselves about birthing in hospitals including how to avoid medical interventions, and explored birth through art and reflection.
Before I knew it, my due date of March 5th was quickly approaching. About 3 weeks before the due date, I started on acupuncture treatments to prepare my body for labor and birth on the advice of a friend. Then on the evening of March 4th, I met with Shelley for a very gentle yoga session. The entire class all I could think about was how tired I was of being pregnant. At the end of class, during savasana, I said to my baby in silence "It's ok, you can come out now." Well, about two hours later around 8pm, the first signs of labor began. I called my doctor and I could hear the excitement in his voice. I was excited too! But contractions had not started so all my husband and I could do was wait. I went to bed early and I remember going to bed with my little dog at my feet and my husband reading his book by my side knowing this was the beginning of a new era in my life. I went to sleep but it was a restless sleep because the contractions had started. But they were not so strong that I couldn't rest in between them. And Shelley had told me to try and sleep and rest in between the contractions, and so I did.
My husband later told me as I rested, he could feel my stomach tightening as the contractions got stronger. Around 2:00 a.m., I could not lie down comfortably and knew that I had to remain upright to allow my baby to make his way down. I got into the shower and let the warm water run down my back as I swayed my hips back and forth to help my baby continue on his journey. The hot water was very soothing and eased the discomfort brought on by the contractions. I must have gone in and out of the shower for about two hours because by 4:00 a.m., I told my husband I was going to rest in our family room. He and my little dog came with me. I could tell my little dog was sensing that birth was near. She was so calm and remained close to us. Her little animal spirit knew birth was near and she was not afraid. I was not afraid either.
I rested on the couch and started using the coping techniques I learned in BFW and also, the vocal toning techniques Shelley taught us in yoga class to get through the contractions. Around 7:00 am, my husband called my doctor and I called my doula. I decided to labor at home for a while longer as I was feeling good, coping well, and could feel my baby moving. I talked to my doula a few more times that morning. She reminded me to drink fluids and stay hydrated but it was becoming harder to drink. My husband busied himself by making breakfast and baking cookies for the labor nurses at the hospital. I remember walking around the kitchen and sometimes, going back to the shower. Around 10:00 am, I told my doula to come to my house and labor with me but she believed that I was still in the early stages of labor. So, I continued to walk when I could, but now had to lean on my husband during contractions, and use vocal toning and the yoga chants from Shelley's class to keep my voice low and get through the contractions. I remained calm and open. I was not irritable or mad and I knew I had to remain relaxed and patient. I recall my husband noticing and telling me that the contractions seemed stronger with fewer breaks in between. I had noticed it too.
Around 11:15 am, I went to the bathroom and noticed some bleeding. It scared me at first because I didn't know if that was normal or not. I told my husband it might be time to go to the hospital. He called the doctor to tell him what was happening. Then, my doula walked through the front door carrying groceries and other provisions to nourish me during labor. I saw her and I immediately leaned up against her during a very strong contraction. I could hardly stand. She held me up and soothed my back. I told her I was scared and that it was time to go to the hospital. She remained calm and reassured me. My husband and my doula led me to the car, stopping at times to let a contraction pass. As I walked into the garage, my little dog tried to sneak by me and get into the car. But sadly, I had to leave her home. How I wished she could come with me to the hospital. I settled myself into the car and off we went with my doula following in her car behind us.
I think driving to the hospital was the hardest part of my labor because I had to sit down. And believe me, sitting and lying down on my back was by far the most uncomfortable way to labor. How could anyone ask a woman to labor that way is beyond me! The discomfort became very strong and I told my husband that I had changed my mind and wanted medicine once we got to the hospital. He didn't respond because he knew what I wanted. He was my rock and he remained strong for me and drove in great earnest.
We arrived at the hospital and I walked very slowly with my husband and my doula into the delivery ward. The nurses at the station handed me a form to sign. Being a lawyer, I took my time reading the form very carefully, stopping once or twice to let a contraction pass. (I know, I'm crazy.) I signed in at 12:15 p.m. and was immediately taken to a L&D room. Well, for some reason, after I changed into my gown I had to move to another room. To be honest, I don't really recall how I got from the first room to the second room. Once I settled into the second room, my labor nurse attached the fetal monitor to check the baby's heart rate and checked my progress. She said that I was at 7cm already and I remember her saying, this baby is coming.
The rest of my labor was a bit of a blur to me. I remember my doula giving me water and honey to keep up my strength. I remember my doctor walking into the room and calmly speaking to me and putting his hand on my forehead. I remember my doula getting me to lean on a birthing ball and helping me through what had become very strong contractions. I told her I didn't think I could do this (birth) and she said, "you don't have to do anything, let your body do everything." She was right! My body knew what to do. So I relaxed and I recall my water breaking shortly before it came time to push. When it came time to push, my doctor had me lie on my right side and I started pushing. After a few pushes, the doctor allowed me to rest. I worked through a few pushes all on my own with no instruction or direction. The doctor then had me lie on my left side and push some more.
I continued to push on my side with some direction from my doctor and everyone was sitting with me on the bed with me when suddenly, the bed fell down a few inches. All the weight must have made the bed give way. And then, I laughed! It is amazing how you laugh at the strangest times. My husband told me it lightened up the mood in the room a bit as things were becoming intense in the moments before my baby's dawn.
My doctor kept telling me he could see my baby and that he was almost here. After some guidance from my doctor, hand holding with my doula and husband, and determination, I felt a warm sensation leaving my body and my son was born at 2:47 p.m. (on his due date.) He cried out loud and the doctor placed him on my chest. I remember telling my husband that our son was a gift from my husband's father who sadly passed away years before. And my son is a gift; a miracle that came from a beautiful place that we can only imagine in our dreams.
Some people have said to me it was luck that I had an intervention free birth, luck that I didn't have a c-section, or that I have a high pain tolerance. Looking back on my son's birth now, I realize how wrong those people are --- it was because of the love and support of my husband, my BFW mentor, my doula, my friends, and of course Shelley -- that this birth was possible. I am a stronger person today because of this experience. I was blessed with a beautiful birth and a beautiful child. There was no overriding fear in this birth, no horrible pains, no scary doctors, no strange medicines….just birth, love, and life.
Tanya's Baby Boy
